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*for any of you who are concerned about the negative connotation that frequently accompanies this slang term for women, let me point out that I am a Magpie, and I like to think of my readers as fellow birds. That's it. Just a little thing I have...

Miss Manners and Purse Etiquette

When was the last time you picked up a copy of Emily Post's Guide to Etiquette? Although I'm sure it has been a while (if not never), it is important for Magpie's to know the subtle nuances of etiquette when out and about on the streets of the world.




Let's take, for today, the proper way to carry your bag*.

(*Note: the difference between a purse and a handbag is price.
A purse is valued at under $100, a bag at over. )

When you are walking around, your bag should be situated in your left hand, in the crook of your left elbow, or on your left shoulder. Notice a pattern? LEFT. When passing a friend on the street, you should be able to easily offer your right hand to greet without jostling your bag out of the way. Your right hand should always be available to socialize. When you carry your bag in your right hand, on your right shoulder, or particularly in the crook of your right elbow, you are, in essence, flipping the world off and letting them know you are rude and socially unavailable.

If you carry a briefcase, this rule does not apply to you as rigidly. It is commonly accepted that one who works, and therefore has a briefcase, does not always have time to be sociable. Your purse may then be carried on your left and your briefcase in your right hand.

When you are dining, your bag may not be placed on the table. Ever. Really. It is considered incredibly rude, even if you are carrying a Judith Leiber, to place your bag on the dining surface. Your bag has two possible resting sites:

• If it is day, you may place your bag in an empty chair (at the same table, do not drag another chair to your table just to avoid the floor. Yes, germs and bacterial goo are disgusting, but you shouldn't be licking the bottom of your bag.). You may also place your bag on the floor to the left of you. (Why the left? Because the server should be coming to your place setting from the right, and you certainly do not want to trip him. Also, for your protection--it is much more obvious to reach with your right hand to the place on your left to try to steal someone's bag than it is to lean with your left. Finally, because when you stand up at the end of your meal, you should be able to seamlessly pick up your bag with your left hand and shake hands with your meal partners.) You may NEVER place your bag on the back or arm of the chair. We are Magpies, and, therefore, we are not tacky.

• If is it evening, you may place your bag in your lap, under your napkin, or behind you in your chair (be careful with any chair that has slats). Those are your only two options. Well, if you are sitting on a bench-style seat, you may place your bag between you and your date--and then quickly find another man. Bench seating is not very classy (see: easy ways to embarrass yourself while rising from the table).

Questions? Comments?